


timeline

by punkrockbadger



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bisexual Character of Color, F/M, POV Character of Color, Racism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-08
Updated: 2015-03-08
Packaged: 2018-03-16 23:23:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3506588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punkrockbadger/pseuds/punkrockbadger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>age zero: born janardhan iyer late in the night of sunday, march 27th, 1960. sleeps a lot. cries. is loved from the very beginning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	timeline

**Author's Note:**

> For Jayne, whose writing is incredible.

age zero: born janardhan iyer late in the night of sunday, march 27th, 1960. sleeps a lot. cries. is loved from the very beginning.

age one: learns to walk on the tile floor of the kitchen. says amma before anything else. hates carrots and laughs at everything. sits on appa's lap when he prays and looks up whenever he hears his name.

age two: plays the drums with the pots and pans. appa takes pictures and hangs them up everywhere. has two favorite stuffed animals and sleeps with them both. breaks his crib by jumping up and down too hard.

age three: runs and runs and runs and runs, now that he knows how. cuddles his teddy bear because he thinks it's lonely without him. keeps switching "yesterday" and "tomorrow". doesn't have an inside voice.

age four: knocks out a baby tooth when he trips on the stairs, and shows it off to everyone who will look. rides on appa's shoulders. wears his favorite sweater every single day. forgets to roll his sleeves up before he turns on the tap. waves his wet sleeves at everyone.

age five: wakes up early in the mornings. small for his age. comes running when amma yells janardhan. rolls in the grass. collects bugs. climbs trees. pushes frank off of one. goes to school for the first time. comes home covered in mud with a mouth full of stories. runs ahead when appa takes him to the temple.

age six: decides to be brave. speaks tamil in public. rips holes in the knees of his uniform pants sliding for the football. spends afternoons sitting in appa's office, watching him do paperwork. has his own little desk in his corner, with a nametag and a cup full of quills like appa's. feels smart and strong. asks for a sibling. does not get one. goes to the quidditch world cup. australia wins, just like he said. appa owes him ice cream.

age seven: meets abhay patil (who's ten whole years old, imagine that) at the temple. finds the sibling he's always wanted. climbs more trees, goes on more adventures, and has a pet frog for a few weeks, all with a partner in crime. asks amma for a pet, after the frog disappears, and she gives him a rock. he names it petrock, carries it around in his pocket, and pretends to feed it, even. still holds amma's hand at the supermarket, though, because all cool boys do. gets his first broom. never puts it down again.

age eight: wants to go to hogwarts, just like abhay anna. can't wait to do magic. discovers that he is bad at potions when amma is experimenting and he explodes it by sneezing. gets on lucius malfoy's bad side during a brunch. earns sirius black's respect. finds a best friend. especially not allowed to touch the stove anymore. gets a stuffed toy dragon for his birthday and names it shesha, because, given the choice, he's pretty sure vishnu would have picked a dragon too. tells amma he will marry her someday, when all the boys in his class giggle about girlfriends.

age nine: sent to live with his grandparents for a bit. only a bit, appa promises, but appa looks too worried for that to be true. joins a new school in the middle of their term, with new kids, and tries his best to survive. gets in trouble for tapping his feet while he thinks. relearns to write, this time with his right hand. does not like it. small and scared, but scrappy and strong. wears his bruises like they're badges of honor. fights hard and long.

age ten: waits for appa to call. usually disappointed. even amma's letters sound scared. he always writes back. climbs the coconut trees out behind his grandparents' house to see the clouds from a different angle. wanders the halls of temples to see all the paintings another time. learns (tries) not to mind being alone.

age eleven: gryffindor. brave, courageous and burning with fire. he is proud. appa is happier now. twists his poonal around his fingers when he is bored, because the threads feel familiar, in the midst of all this change. he opens his care packages in his dormitory with the windows open because some of the other kids don't like the smell. lily evans coughs a bit. her friend makes fun of him for eating with his hands. he's going to get it. he's sirius' best friend again, and now remus and peter's best friend too. things are nice. he feels strong. like he should.

age twelve: tries out for quidditch on a dare. makes the team. wears appa's old number. holds his head high. feels like he belongs, for once. lets himself tap his feet while thinking again, because he feels safe enough here. gets detention for distracting others. wonders if he is safe here at all. becomes the biggest distraction he can to find out. sets records, demolishes doubters and carves himself a spot in hogwarts' history. offers to help remus, but only if he wants it. feels braver than ever.

age thirteen: he is angry and loud and wants to fight the world. appa gives him another talk, the more dangerous one this time, and he has never actually hated anything as much as he hates the english right now. you are one of them, appa reminds him, and his mouth goes dry. starts skipping history of magic.

age fourteen: a little taller, now. keeps a leaf in his mouth for a month, just for remus. risks his neck on pranks, just for sirius. is dependable and caring, just for peter. he is a lot of things for a lot of people, and sometimes he can't keep them straight, but he's okay with it. school is tough and lectures grate on his nerves. detentions pile up. he doesn't miss a single one, but he is late to most of them.

age fifteen: lily evans is cute, but he doesn't think about it too much. kisses boys and girls alike under stairwells and in broom cupboards, because they are pretty and he is pretty so why not? stress fills his body like cement at the thought of exams, and he tries his best to cram all of the information into his head because his parents don't deserve to be let down. appa reminds him that he could be an auror someday, if he keeps his grades up, and he nods. people are disappearing. there are lists in the newspaper too long for him to read. he is scared, and fear, like hate, always finds a target. lily evans doesn't talk to him anymore. he understands. he wouldn't want to talk to him either.

age sixteen: doesn't want to talk about it. doesn't want to talk about it. doesn't want to talk about it. doesn't want to think about it. that seems to be the source of his problems, lately. not thinking. he feels like somebody has their hands around his neck, telling him what he can and cannot be, and he feels like he is too big to fit his skin. snivellus sneers. he is full of panic, channels all his nervous energy into the map whenever he can. people are going missing daily, now, and at least he'll be able to find his friends while they're here with this. and then, sirius is no longer a friend and amma is gone and this is too much change for one small kid-- except he's neither small or a kid, anymore. it's time to face the real world.

age seventeen: he feels like he is drowning, but remus needs more help than he does. so he sticks with him, offers whatever comfort remus is ready to take, and draws into himself for the rest of it. the school realizes that the marauders are gone, at least temporarily, and he gets weird looks when he shows up to class, tapping his feet erratically to try and calm the flow of his thoughts into something resembling focus. lily evans is pretty and he wants to tell her, but he is scared. so he doodles her initials in his notebooks and keeps his mouth shut. she deserves better. he asks, on accident, and she says yes, on purpose.

age eighteen: graduation sweeps them all off their feet. lily evans is holding his hand. he feels like he is too big for his skin again, like this is all happening too fast, but he has people to depend on. lily moves into his apartment at the end of the summer, after they've joined the order. he joins the aurors, desperate to find groups to hide within, and she brews potions in their living room. he makes dinner on saturday nights for their friends, and he and the patils laugh at sirius when he claims the food is too spicy. lily smiles and remus shakes his head. they are all happy. it is simple. at least as simple as things during a war can be.

age nineteen: he wakes up in saint mungo's, wand arm bandaged, with lily by his bedside. maybe this is why his father sent him away, he wonders, before slowly trying to sit up. he doesn't make it all the way before he is asleep again. lily worries. he bounces back. they get married. people ask them if there will be a wedding, but the closest they get to a party is springing the news on their friends during saturday night dinner.

age twenty: he is a father. a father. him. a father. it's incredible. harry is tiny, fits safely within his arms, and he kisses his forehead every morning, just in case there comes a day when he won't be able to. they are all safe, within the godric's hollow house, and they find their way through this as a family. lily brews her potions in the living room, still, and he jokes that the fumes are getting to his head. harry learns to laugh from them, and he is just as small and loud as he remembers himself. he is proud, immensely so, of this tiny human that can't even walk yet. it's weird. he laughs more, and harry laughs with him.

age twenty-one: he is scared, but he knows he will be alright. harry sits on his lap when he's praying, and looks up at him whenever hari comes up in a prayer. he smiles, ruffles his son's hair, and keeps going. he is not twenty-one for very long, so there aren't too many memories, but he treasures them all. harry learns to walk, and talk, and calls for his appa when he wakes up from naps, loud enough that he can hear it down the hall. he delights in these moments, and lily does too, and sometimes they talk about another baby, after this is all over.

age twenty-two: but they are not around, when it is all over.


End file.
